Category Archives: Forgiveness
(Note: This is a continuation from a previous entry – The Pulse …in allowing)
I noticed the first thing that came up for me was this low grade constantly present fear. I realized that I had been explaining it to myself, wrassling with it, judging it, accepting it and hoping it would just go away…
When I looked at it with allowing eyes, at first it got worse and I was like, forget this! Ugh! This is AWFUL!! What in the world am I so freaked out about? It got worse and worse but I stayed and listened as I moved about my day, instead of using one of many tactics I’ve developed during my life to banish it.
I realized after a day or so of low grade panic (I spent a lot of time in the nature sanctuary nearby, walking and listening and looking around while doing this…the flowers and trees really helped.) that the background noise of fear was revealing itself to be of multiple tones.
I was being constantly poked by a wide variety of things that were so constant that at first it had appeared to be a single voice. Nope! As I watched and allowed and trained my focus on different voices, they resolved themselves.
This was tough – it was so hard not to reach for my HUGE bag o’ tricks and process through or whatever. Nope, I decided to give this Let it Be thing a full opportunity to be experienced, and I stuck with it.
It was hard. I cried / panicked a lot and returned to listening to the breeze or the water or trees talking to each other and kept looking. It was as if I’d been waiting for this for my entire life…
One by one the voices presented themselves. They appeared as grubby children. A child with her teddybear’s head ripped off by a bully, crying and dirty, was first. I sat with her, listened to her rang and rave and throw temper tantrum after tantrum until she wore herself out.
Then she ran to me and I felt like she wanted me to know her better but didn’t know how to begin, so I asked her, “What’s your name?” Joy, she said, and a flash of memories passed before my eyes of all the times I had been punished by people who were supposed to be taking care of me for being too loud.
Being too happy. I got picked on and beaten up enough times that I learned not to do that, and this little girl had held it for me. She was my protector – not a demon or gremlin stealing my joy, but instead protecting me from the pain that had come before. She was my hero, my knight. Together we looked at the world, and it was changed.
Both 2 and 7 emit highly sensitive but different vibrations.
2 symbolizes feminine feelings, cooperation, openness, intuition,
peacefulness and patience. 2 is the number of perception, which is where
major changes are taking place in the human psyche. Our old perceptions
of what is real are breaking down as we continue to leave the denial
that has always obscured our view of life.
7 symbolizes masculine intellect, introspection, secrets, intuition,
and learning. 7 also represents planning, which means thinking ahead,
gathering information, visualizing, and assessing what one will need and
finding ways to attain it. 7 teaches us the fine art of orchestration.
9 is the number of drama, endings, giving, conclusions, deep
emotions, and expanded awareness. 9 is the number of letting go of the
past by learning what your past experiences had to teach you, by
forgiving, and by releasing yourself from inhibition and guilt. Remember
that making mistakes is often how we learn. It is only guilt that tells
us otherwise and stops us from learning the lesson involved.
In the process of healing our emotional wounds, buried feelings rise
to the surface, one of which is often the bitter pain of disappointment.
Another could be love itself – love that has been denied out of fear of
getting hurt. Be patient with the many phases of forgiveness
and remember that love can never hurt you. Never. It is only loss of
love that hurts – and the fear of that loss.
Be honest with yourself about what you are feeling because, under
these concentrated numeric conditions, the vibration of your emotions
can open your mind to realities you have been unable to accept, and
significantly expand your intuitive capabilities.
September 27, 2011 is a 22/4 day in the world, (9+9+4=22/4),
which is a big power number in this 4 global year. The emphasis is on
patience and diplomacy, and the potential to improve conditions for the
masses. Of course, political/industrial power-plays, impatience, and
opposition to large-scale improvement is also emphasized. This is
eye-opening and mind-expanding energy. 4 is the number of system, and we
can learn a lot about the system we live in, if we are courageous
enough to let go of obsolete understandings, and open enough to receive
new insight. 4 is the number of work and how things work. Patient attention to detail is needed.
Be sure to re-read your weekly forecast
because its influence is magnified at all levels now. In fact, it would
be a good idea to read all 9 forecasts and see how they move you,
because 9 contains all the other numbers. (1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8=36. 3+6=9).
This is a time of enlightenment and understanding through emotional
inclusion rather than emotional denial. Allow yourself to FEEL what
you’re really feeling. Be specific. Emotion, after all, is one’s inner
truth – one’s WILL – trying to express itself. We are all aware of how
UN-free the human Will is at this time – and freeing the Will of
humanity is our next evolutionary step.