Q&A with Akira Dawn – “But I don’t waaannna!”
“I had some really good conversations yesterday. Things are so much better when I’m honest – when I’m not holding back. The tendency to not be honest is the same thing as I mentioned earlier about not telling people I’m going to do something until the last minute, if I think they’ll be even a little disappointed with my decision. Anyway, I was able to get into an honest mindset on the way up, and able to pretty much sustain it with (my friend), and with (another friend) this morning.”
Akira Dawn responds,
Nice! I found, once I got the ball rolling with speaking/being in a certain way, it has the opportunity to become a habit! Once it does that, then you feel weird and can feel yourself backsliding and it feels yucky, if you stray from it…
Something I seem to always do, anyway, (even tho I know better) once or twice before settling in to the new way of being – like I’m testing it or something. Usually happens when I’m overtired ;) Can move through it quickly if I can find the strength within to See it and realize/return to the new way.
Returning to the new way of being after backsliding? It feels like…it feels like being a sullen child all of a sudden. Pride comes in big time and a kind of spoiled brat feeling of, “I doan wanna!” With the big frownie face and crossed arms and stomping feet thing ;)
You really have to love yourself, then, and be an inner parent. Best tactic I’ve found is to be there with the inner temper tantrum kid, to be sympathetic but not to the point of being empathetic.
“Of course you don’t want to! This sucks, and you’re tried and hurting!” *pause for effect* “But, remember how good we felt? When we did it the other way?” *pause to let it sink in* “I’ll be here with you, let’s feel better together.” Then you pick yourself up by the bootstraps, in a manner of speaking.
I’m serious, lol – it seems to go that way every time! And even if you’re just going through the motions of coaxing the inner younger you, just the fact that you see and pay attention and have Will does the trick.
Didn’t say it was easy…there’s this momentum you can feel. That old way of being has been around for a long time and it’s used to ruling the roost. But! You now know better. :)