Post-Hop: To Myself at Age 20 :)
This is in answer to the call from Karen Chrappa who wrote to her 20 year old self with sage advice, and invited others to do the same :) original here
Hiya me! :) I’m 36, you’re 20, and I’m writing you because it sounded like a neat idea. Who knows? Maybe you’ll even receive this in a dream (which I’ll then remember having ;) )
The premise behind this is for me to tell you about stuff you didn’t know back then, that I wish you had… It’s kind of free form really, so I’ll just randomly throw stuff out there :)
First and foremost – you know a whole lot more than you think you do, and also not nearly as much. You have a lot of heart knowledge, but your worldly street smarts really sucks. You know how you thought maybe your parents didn’t have a clue about the world? Well, ends up you were right. They’re not mentors – they’re a mess!
So don’t blow all your scholarships in the hopes they’ll notice you went to college – turns out that didn’t work and we’re still paying it off all this time later.
Oh, and! It’s okay to be on your own…it’s a really good chance to get to know yourself. I remember how tempting it was to go off and find people to define me by – guys, friends, groups. In the end I more found out who I wasn’t.
Learn To Drive. Ends up your dad didn’t have your best interests in mind there, either… you are an amazing driver. There’s nothing to be afraid of, you won’t hurt anyone – trust yourself even when he wouldn’t. Especially when he wouldn’t.
Drinking? Drugs? Bad idea. You learned that one real quick, but unfortunately the really really really hard way. It wasn’t worth it…
Speaking of which – things being painful and difficult doesn’t mean they’re worth it. It just means they’re difficult. You can actually take the easy road without missing out on a thing.
It also ends up that sacrificing yourself for other people makes zero sense. It doesn’t help them one bit – you just take on their crap for a while. They’ll have to do it all over again later b/c you got in the way of their learning how not to do it! Oops…yeah, hard one to learn, but that one is very worth it :)
The biggest thing I have to share with you is that heart knowledge thing. The deep and high connection you have…and your desire to share it with everyone else. It’s precious. Cultivate it for yourself first, learn how it works and how to love yourself…not how to love everyone else no matter what. Ends up we had it backwards.
Once you cultivate that heart space, you’ll have all the guidance you need. Feels tense and sharp? Don’t go there! There’s another way around, one of connection – it may be uncomfortable, but it doesn’t have to be Heart Rending if you know what I mean. Listen closely to that.
Balance, stability and emotional resilience are going to be big assets as you move through life. Still are. Drama for drama’s sake has a flavor – you know what I’m talking about. That ‘on fire’ feeling? Avoid it…again, it’s not worth it. That’s you burning…just you.
Oh! And you know how your mom treated everything with aspirin, and then advil? It ends up that doing that for a really long time is bad, as is triple dosing. If it hurts, it means something is wrong. That something may be emotional, but it’s still a something and you gotta be there with it.
Last thing I can think of kinda goes back to what I said before about getting to know yourself by yourself. In the end there’s you. Your connection to everyone and everything begins and ends with you – a full circle. You’re the alpha and omega of it, and your depth is never ending.
That’s the exploration of life – really, what life is about for us this lifetime, in a way…knowing ourselves and how our world reflects us back to us. So get to know you, outside the realm of influence of your mother (especially) and father… and the people you feel you have to help or ‘save.’
Other people aren’t your job or your purpose. You are. In exploring that, your life, dedicated to serving the realization of humanity’s highest potential at this time as it always has been, can actually be made manifest. It must begin at the heart of you…so get to know yourself!
The reality bubble you’re spinning out around you is of you – what comes in and goes out. Fascinating stuff – you’ll really enjoy it :)
Oh, and there is a God – ‘It’ is infinite expansion and exploration of existence, of which you are a part.
As such, you are intensely loved, accepted and a perfect fit for all the wonderment (or woe) you choose to create with your life. :) Me, I’m pulling for the wonderment team these days. Woe is interesting, but it gets old.