Post-Hop: To Myself at Age 20 :)

This is in answer to the call from Karen Chrappa who wrote to her 20 year old self with sage advice, and invited others to do the same :) original here

Hiya me! :) I’m 36, you’re 20, and I’m writing you because it sounded like a neat idea. Who knows? Maybe you’ll even receive this in a dream (which I’ll then remember having ;) )

The premise behind this is for me to tell you about stuff you didn’t know back then, that I wish you had… It’s kind of free form really, so I’ll just randomly throw stuff out there :)

First and foremost – you know a whole lot more than you think you do, and also not nearly as much. You have a lot of heart knowledge, but your worldly street smarts really sucks. You know how you thought maybe your parents didn’t have a clue about the world? Well, ends up you were right. They’re not mentors – they’re a mess!

So don’t blow all your scholarships in the hopes they’ll notice you went to college – turns out that didn’t work and we’re still paying it off all this time later.

Oh, and! It’s okay to be on your own…it’s a really good chance to get to know yourself. I remember how tempting it was to go off and find people to define me by – guys, friends, groups. In the end I more found out who I wasn’t.

Learn To Drive. Ends up your dad didn’t have your best interests in mind there, either… you are an amazing driver. There’s nothing to be afraid of, you won’t hurt anyone – trust yourself even when he wouldn’t. Especially when he wouldn’t.

Drinking? Drugs? Bad idea. You learned that one real quick, but unfortunately the really really really hard way. It wasn’t worth it…

Speaking of which – things being painful and difficult doesn’t mean they’re worth it. It just means they’re difficult. You can actually take the easy road without missing out on a thing.

It also ends up that sacrificing yourself for other people makes zero sense. It doesn’t help them one bit – you just take on their crap for a while. They’ll have to do it all over again later b/c you got in the way of their learning how not to do it! Oops…yeah, hard one to learn, but that one is very worth it :)

The biggest thing I have to share with you is that heart knowledge thing. The deep and high connection you have…and your desire to share it with everyone else. It’s precious. Cultivate it for yourself first, learn how it works and how to love yourself…not how to love everyone else no matter what. Ends up we had it backwards.

Once you cultivate that heart space, you’ll have all the guidance you need. Feels tense and sharp? Don’t go there! There’s another way around, one of connection – it may be uncomfortable, but it doesn’t have to be Heart Rending if you know what I mean. Listen closely to that.

Balance, stability and emotional resilience are going to be big assets as you move through life. Still are. Drama for drama’s sake has a flavor – you know what I’m talking about. That ‘on fire’ feeling? Avoid it…again, it’s not worth it. That’s you burning…just you.

Oh! And you know how your mom treated everything with aspirin, and then advil? It ends up that doing that for a really long time is bad, as is triple dosing. If it hurts, it means something is wrong. That something may be emotional, but it’s still a something and you gotta be there with it.

Last thing I can think of kinda goes back to what I said before about getting to know yourself by yourself. In the end there’s you. Your connection to everyone and everything begins and ends with you – a full circle. You’re the alpha and omega of it, and your depth is never ending.

That’s the exploration of life – really, what life is about for us this lifetime, in a way…knowing ourselves and how our world reflects us back to us. So get to know you, outside the realm of influence of your mother (especially) and father… and the people you feel you have to help or ‘save.’

Other people aren’t your job or your purpose. You are. In exploring that, your life, dedicated to serving the realization of humanity’s highest potential at this time as it always has been, can actually be made manifest. It must begin at the heart of you…so get to know yourself!

The reality bubble you’re spinning out around you is of you – what comes in and goes out. Fascinating stuff – you’ll really enjoy it :)

Oh, and there is a God – ‘It’ is infinite expansion and exploration of existence, of which you are a part.

As such, you are intensely loved, accepted and a perfect fit for all the wonderment (or woe) you choose to create with your life. :) Me, I’m pulling for the wonderment team these days. Woe is interesting, but it gets old.

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About Dawn Lamond

'ello! :) I'm a writer, speaker, and intuitive :) My greatest joy is in guiding people to realize their potential - in doing so, I realize mine. Let your light shine... :)

Posted on November 7, 2012, in Authenticity, Awareness, Consciousness, Guidance, Paradigm Shift, Self-Love. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Thank you for sharing this Dawn. This sparked me to think a lot about what I would tell myself at 20. It’s tricky. I don’t know if what I tell my 20 year old self will disrupt where I am spiritually or not. Do I really want to change the course of my life 34 years ago? I wrote a letter with some advice that I think would have made my life easier, but I’m not convinced that if I actually somehow conveyed that letter to me at 20, that it would help me. The more I think about it, the more it seems my life progressed in the way it was meant to, but I don’t actually know if that is true or not. As I said, this has prompted a lot of reflection for me. Even though this sounds like it’s brought confusion, it’s actually helped clarify some things for me… and appreciate my life even more.

    • It was hard to begin writing it – it took a lot of deep thought on a level that went below thinking. I had to step into the shoes of the person who could now speak to my 20yo self and actually have something to say.

      Honestly, it scared me… and writing it was more of a falling into it. I was scared of being wrong, I was scared of being right. I was scared of revealing how human I am and sharing my current opinions, knowing how transient they were and that I might think differently the next day or year. I probably will!

      But I felt I was being presented with an opportunity. A window, or a door – I could go through, or not. To go through would mean leaving something behind…the illusion of perfection perhaps? Or maybe releasing the impossibility of failure…

      I chose to do it. :) What I wrote is my truth of the moment, when looking at my past of the moment (the past changes too, as our perspectives change with greater experience). Everything changes.

      And you know? We really are a construct of lots and lots of versions of ourselves. There is no specific Dawn, except for the point to which Adyashanti and many others speak to at times…the witness.

      And yet here I am, alive and wanting. Shifting and changing…as my environment changes around me, I change around it, and I get to experience myself. So this was me my now self coalesced into a moment’s consciousness, facing my 20yo’s coalescence, and having a conversation.

      My 20 year old self thought and spoke very differently that my Me self as I think of me now…and yet I can access that person and remember that point of consciousness. That imprint, and where it came from. So I spoke from there so she/I would be able to understand that I haven’t transcended – I’ve become, in layers.

      I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s not You talking to a different you. It’s you talking to an aspect of you, and the ‘helping’ happens real time in the acceptance that change has happened. It’s like going back in the darkness of time and recovering yourself and saying, ‘Look! We made it!’

      That, in itself, I found very helpful and satisfying/fulfilling. It was a great experience, just doing it at all. Witnessing myself, and the many aspects of me I passed along the way as I sought out my 20yo self. :)

      It sounds like you did that in your own way, in your time of reflection :)

  2. I loved this Dawn! Thank you so much for baring your soul with such vulnerability…so much soul depth and wisdom here…it is so true…the heart space we cultivate begins with ourself. I am so glad you heard the call of your wisdom and shared it with us…love to you!

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