Category Archives: Essence
Each of us is like a beautiful crystal that has the ability to sing
We sing all the time, whether we are aware or not
We sing with our thoughts and feelings
Our lives spin out around us like an incredible tapestry of light
The waves of our sound interact
With the world, with people, with circumstances
We are not alone
And yet we are the unique sparks at the center of our space
At the core of you is a spark of light that sings the song of your soul. Take a moment to tune in and embrace the wonder that you are :) This will be a short talk followed by a guided meditation and Q&A.
Group Call by Phone or Skype – RSVP to receive the number and access code!
(Note: This is a continuation from a previous entry – The Pulse …in allowing)
I noticed the first thing that came up for me was this low grade constantly present fear. I realized that I had been explaining it to myself, wrassling with it, judging it, accepting it and hoping it would just go away…
When I looked at it with allowing eyes, at first it got worse and I was like, forget this! Ugh! This is AWFUL!! What in the world am I so freaked out about? It got worse and worse but I stayed and listened as I moved about my day, instead of using one of many tactics I’ve developed during my life to banish it.
I realized after a day or so of low grade panic (I spent a lot of time in the nature sanctuary nearby, walking and listening and looking around while doing this…the flowers and trees really helped.) that the background noise of fear was revealing itself to be of multiple tones.
I was being constantly poked by a wide variety of things that were so constant that at first it had appeared to be a single voice. Nope! As I watched and allowed and trained my focus on different voices, they resolved themselves.
This was tough – it was so hard not to reach for my HUGE bag o’ tricks and process through or whatever. Nope, I decided to give this Let it Be thing a full opportunity to be experienced, and I stuck with it.
It was hard. I cried / panicked a lot and returned to listening to the breeze or the water or trees talking to each other and kept looking. It was as if I’d been waiting for this for my entire life…
One by one the voices presented themselves. They appeared as grubby children. A child with her teddybear’s head ripped off by a bully, crying and dirty, was first. I sat with her, listened to her rang and rave and throw temper tantrum after tantrum until she wore herself out.
Then she ran to me and I felt like she wanted me to know her better but didn’t know how to begin, so I asked her, “What’s your name?” Joy, she said, and a flash of memories passed before my eyes of all the times I had been punished by people who were supposed to be taking care of me for being too loud.
Being too happy. I got picked on and beaten up enough times that I learned not to do that, and this little girl had held it for me. She was my protector – not a demon or gremlin stealing my joy, but instead protecting me from the pain that had come before. She was my hero, my knight. Together we looked at the world, and it was changed.
Recently I was reminded of my empath training several years ago. Our teacher asked that we bring a flower to the second day of the workshop. I was like, um, okay…a flower. Not sure what that has to do with being trained how to work with empathy and people, but okay.
Ends up it had everything to do with it. We were learning how to sense energy using our hands specifically, toward the end of the day. Everyone was laughing with delight as one by one each person held their flower and experienced its life force.
Mine was a very sad Charlie Brown Xmas Tree kind of flower by that point – it was drooping and all the petals were falling off!! I was honestly frightened to experience it at all, expecting death, decay, who knows what. I had no idea what a flower was even supposed to feel like to an empath, let alone a dying flower…
My teacher insisted however. I was to the point of tears, looking at this poor thing and not wanting to partake in its death, but she gently told me not to be afraid and guided me step by step, sitting next me as I steeled myself.
She told me it wasn’t at all what I thought it was going to be, then said I should close my eyes and listen extra close since this being’s life was ebbing and what it had to say would be soft.
I didn’t hear anything at all at first. I was sure my teacher had just plugged me in to some death zone horrible thing and I’d be scarred for life…but I decided to trust her as she told me to stay with it.
I cupped my hands around the flower and felt its petals brush my fingers as if it was holding my hand. I thought about how the petals were soft, and imagined the color, and smelled the smell. It was a daisy, and the petals were like velvet – what was left of them ;)
And that’s when I heard it. It really was quiet, just like the teacher said it would be – it was like laughing music, or bells even… To my astonishment I realized it was giggling!
I looked up and the teacher realized I had heard it and she nodded, “They don’t know anything but life, and they share that freely with everyone without reservation right to the last.”
I did start crying then – kinda relief and joy and astonishment all at once. I ran around then and ‘listened’ to everyone else’s flowers and heard their different songs – all different, though it seemed similar species had similar songs.
Someone had brought a houseplant since they couldn’t get a flower in time and I listened to that and it was very different. More like soft giggling drums than bells.
I later led a whole group of people (I organize the Metaplay meetup – the NoVa/DC Metaphysics meetup and play group on meetup.com) through a Whole Foods grocery and introduced them to the art of empathic grocery shopping, lol – you can imagine ;)
I was never afraid to listen again, and in fact have a membership at one of the local arboretums and walk there often :)
Listening to people is nothing like listening to plants. Plants and flowers know nothing about fear in any way. They sing their songs fully and completely without pause in all that they do, simply because that’s what they are.
It’s people who have been given the gift of free will and choice, and with it the responsibilities of power. Samsara and suffering is our thing, to the degree we take it on.
But that natural rhythm the plants sway to so easily is the backdrop to our being as well. We too sing our songs, complex as they may be at times. We often stifle them with shoulds and such, but that’s ours and manufactured by us to experience as part of our current Way to lesser and greater degrees…
S’all good. Being with the natural world helps us remember who we are underneath all that roiling responsibility. We’re alive.
I thought, ‘Let it be,’ meant leave it alone. Figure out a way to let it go. Find something in myself that will allow me to just let it alone.
Much to my surprise I suddenly realized…this isn’t what the deeper truth of the phrase is really speaking to. It’ll do the job, not acting from rage and trusting in life for all to move into balance in time. Trusting in something beyond ourselves. Yes, good stuff…but not the whole picture.
For all I know I’m not onto the entire picture myself, even – but I did find this new piece I want to share. It’s the piece of Allowing while bearing witness.
I can see why I missed it – it’s a heart thing, and as much as the analytical mind may like to take it apart and put it back together in order to figure it out…that isn’t going to happen with this, because it doesn’t ‘make sense’ in a mental way.
Letting it be has a passively active element to it (how’s that for confusing? ;) ) The role of the witness, the bearer of awareness as an individual that each of us possess – we hold the key to alchemy, if we’re willing to let it go. (definitely confusing)
When we watch – an event, an emotion, a memory, another person – without any judgment at all…something magical happens.
Judgment confines, tries to control and dissect, fit into boxes that channel action in appropriate ways according to our beliefs. It’s about power, control and fear/personal identity/safety issues. ‘I need to know how to react, so I will define,’ judgment says.
I figured letting it be meant not reacting – instead, pausing and then acting after due consideration. Nope – tho again, it’s better than reacting from entirely unconscious pre-conditioning. It’s something, but not all of it.
Let it be means allow it to be what it is, in your world, without narrowing your field of vision with any form of judgment based on preconceived notions. The word Preconceived literally means, ‘Created previously.’ Judgment doesn’t leave room for New creation to take place, it’s more about labeling things and putting them in boxes. A shorthand life.
Letting it be is witnessing without any previously thought up ideas about what is being witnessed. Acceptance lives here – otherwise known as unconditional love (another confusing topic).
Where love is, life is, and life is always moving. Whatever it is you’re bearing witness to will change…and with you looking at it with full acceptance, this added actively passive element of allowing gives it room to Be so it can finish that part of it’s becoming and move on to whatever’s next.
Trusting in that ‘next’, not channeling it according to the will of narrowed judgment but instead just bearing witness to whatever it is, allows what is being seen to move naturally into its own pattern of unfolding. It’s got places to Be – other places than we can conceive of, naturally inherent in its own Being.
Allowing and letting it Be let’s it become – the love in this act allows it to become within its full potential, not as limited as even it may have thought it was, and not pre-conceived into a box of the witnesses’ creation. It allows with an open hand, trusting.
Note I didn’t say this was easy. ;) It takes a real leap of faith – that’s what I’m practicing with now. So far so very good. :) More on that later.
Oh, and as a quick side note – it seems that the more we let everything else be, the more we get to be, too…